What an absolute corker to the start of the 2010 show season! In terms of pure alcohol abuse it’s going to take a lot to beat it. The convoy gathered at 9:30 on Lymm services with the addition of a few of our Yorkshire friends, including Jon Boiiii the Leeds bastard (aptly named at Edition 09 by Ollie), Mallo and a couple of other chaps. Joining us also was some of the Detailed crew and Rich a.k.a. The Dark of Dub from Wayyyyy-alls but of course in usual fashion he was late… by a long time haha. It was ok though because Mike’s strict rule of “we’re leaving AT 10:30am” had gone straight out the window and had fallen 100 stories to its death. Fair play to Mike though he did manage to make it to Lymm on time, kind of.
After some general chattage, fags, arsing about and avid penis punching (thanks to Carl over at CellBlock H for that haha) we eventually got our asses in our cars and set off on our merry way!
In usual Un-H2o fashion the convoy turned out to be a right good crack, with Ric giving his feet a bit of time off out the window (which I may add Todd hactually touched), Adam having to stop for a piss on the hard shoulder, Mike getting bollocked off a copper for Ollie hanging out the window (it was worth it), and well you can probably guess the rest. Eventually Telford was upon us. With it being Ric’s third year you’d expect the fat cunt to know where he’s going, but no, 2 wrong turns thanks to his shat nav took everyone on a merry tour around the International, not into it. Eventually though we all made it.
Bags out, checked in, beer opened was pretty much the order of things for the Saturday. Some unlucky people had to delay this process due to them filling up our club stands, they weren’t far behind though.
As the afternoon progressed the hotel slowly filled up with the kings and queens of the scene. The array of cars arriving throughout the day was worthy of a watch from the hotel bar, although in a way this kind of spoils the show as you’ve seen everything. Luckily for some of us though we were already half cut so remembering what we’d seen was going to be a challenge. Tea time fast approached and some people decided to stay up in their rooms drinking, and some of us decided it was more entertaining watching the ruggers on the tele until it was time to go get ready to hit it up and cause total havoc in the bars around Telford.
Calvert, Ste Jay and Jez of Wheel Whores fame went on a beer run to Asda to top themselves up as the booze we’d already brought soon disappeared. They arrived back with a bottle of Jager and various other beverages, and also a pink “Girls Night Out” banner for me. How kind!
We all met in the lobby of the hotel (yes I was wearing my new sache) and went on a wander over to Wetherspoons. Once there we all managed to find a table and proceeded to get quite rowdy until the one Polish bouncer decided to ask us to leave. Whoops! “Exxcyoozeh mehh yuu haff to leev manhajer ses so”, “is it because we’re awesome” someone chirped up, “heeyess” the bouncer replied! HA! I blame Mike for burning his leg hairs! Jesus that stunk!
From Wetherspoons we all gathered on the car park after ordering quite a few taxis. Of course the taxis would take a while to arrive so what to do in the meantime?? Hmmm! Yes Ollie comes back with a trolley. WIN! All we need now is Mike in it. In true Roger Cook fashion the chase was on, and eventually we got Mike in it, whilst he was on the phone to his bird haha! Jon Boiiii (the Leeds Bastard) give Mike one huge mighty running push straight into the kerb – hahahahaha god it was funny! Best thing was though, Mike the smooth bastard landed just right in a crouching position, got up and walked away, still on the phone to his Mrs.
Eventually the taxi arrived and it was off to Pussyclarts! I’m sure many people will agree, its an utter shithole, and a complete rip off, but hey everyone was there so it became a good night. Dan got completely raped by the barmaid hahaha! Oh and no wonder the DJ names himself “DJ Wanker”, he certainly lives up to his name. “Big shout out to all the max power people in the house, get a life instead of doing up cars”… yeh thanks for that! Dick!
The night was going well until the bouncers, who I must add must have been severely bullied as children, decided to throw Ollie out for some unknown reason. Not being funny but Ollie is one of the most mellow guys you could ever meet, and he’s hardly a big lad but these dickheads decided it would take 6, yes 6 of them to man handle him out. Tossers. A few of us followed Ollie out to make sure he was alright, next thing im being started on by one of the bouncers, and their dog. God knows why you have to hide behind a dog when you’re a 24 stone beefcake, but that’s what these chaps did. We had a nice little grapple until he decided to walk off back to his mates because he’d reached the gate. Fag.
The night was drawing to a close so back to the hotel it was. The partying didn’t stop there though, many random acts of randomness occurred until it was gone 5am and everyone had retired to bed.
The morning came, hungover isn’t the word. You can always tell who’s stopped the night before when your wandering around the show purely because people look like utter shit haha, me being one of the main contenders. I can’t really write much about the show, I was way to rough to be walking round all day, but summing it up there was lots of nice cars, we stuck a Dubmiked sticker on Lauryns car, and had a brew and some munch.
Bring on All Types!
2 Responses
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DuBmIKe Says:
Awesome write up dude, god what a weekend
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Ric Says:
Cheers mert. Awesome weekend indeedy!
